Ed.: As part of Studio B Art Gallery's "I AM: Proud" project, local writers and artists were encouraged to respond to the theme.
by Allison Kelly*
I waited in the dark with the others and tried not to think about everything that could go wrong in the next couple of hours. Would I forget my lines? Would I be too hot in my costume? Would we have a good crowd?
Someone whispered, “Why do we do this?”
Someone else whispered, “Because we love it?”
This reply drew a few nervous chuckles.
Then the orchestra began to play. I took a deep breath and prepared to step out onto the stage…
When asked what they want to be when they grow up, children will often confess their wildest dreams of becoming famous actors, singing sensations, or pro athletes. Like many other little girls, I thought a ballerina would be a good career choice (mainly because I wanted to wear the pink tutu). Rarely do these childhood fantasies come true, and over time, more realistic ambitions are adopted. But I did not give up on my desire to act, sing, and dance. As a child, I sat in the dark auditorium with my parents and watched my older brother perform in community theatre shows. I remember thinking that someday I would be up on stage doing the same thing. For me, this goal was just as likely as me becoming a ballerina.
I was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis when I was two years old. The disease affected all of my joints, severely limiting my mobility and forcing me to use crutches by the time I was halfway through elementary school. After I graduated from high school, I took a year to have both hips and knees replaced and feet operated on (correcting my habit of walking on my toes, so no ballerina poses for me) before going off to college.
My first summer home I auditioned for Limelight’s 1990 production of The Mystery of Edwin Drood. I could get around without crutches, but running, jumping, or doing a kick line on stage were definitely out of the question. My arms and hands were still very arthritic, so I could not straighten my fingers for “jazz hands” or lift my arms over my head in the popular end-of-song pose. I did my best but always wondered what the audience thought of my strange flailing hand motions. I was thrilled to be cast as the Stage Manager. No, I wasn’t kept behind the scenes; this is an actual role that had me on stage behind a podium most of the time. This was a great first theatre experience for me because I didn’t have to do any dancing.
Oliver! was my second show. As a member of the chorus of townspeople, I moved around on the stage more. The main thing I remember about this show was the scene in the pub where, when half the actors were sitting, I was among the patrons who stood during that scene (rather tiring). I still don’t know why I had to stand; probably it was because my brother directed Oliver! and he always pushed me to do more physically.
The next summer I was cast in The Music Man as one of the gossiping Pick-A-Little ladies. Not my favorite show, but my role did not require dancing and I had a costume that actually looked good on me. The most physically demanding part of this show would have been a fast costume change, but the director cut it out in rehearsal after half of the ladies could not do it. I was proud to be one who did manage to do the change in time (with my dressing stick) but SO thankful to the others who’d failed; I’d been in tears when trying to walk as fast as I could down the back hallways of the school to the opposite side of the stage.
Limelight Productions staged The Secret Garden in 1996. The stage adaptation of this beloved book is not as popular despite its delightful and dramatic music. I was in the chorus of ghosts haunting the manor on the moor. Again, I did not have to do any dancing.
My biggest role in community theatre was Jack’s Mother in Into the Woods. I was only five feet tall, and my son, Jack (of Beanstalk fame), towered over me. I believe the director liked the comedic visual of a diminutive but fearless woman keeping her son under control with a wooden spoon and yelling at a Giant. Even though my character did not survive until the end of the story, I was in the fast-paced final number which required some “dancing” from me. I remember rehearsing the title refrain over and over again while making a quick cross to my spot on the low platform upstage in time to strike my ending pose.
The next year Limelight chose a crowd favorite for its summer musical – The Sound of Music. Several members of the Boyertown Area Choral Association, including my mother, joined the cast as nuns. I was one of the featured nuns who sings the light-hearted lament “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” I don’t remember the exact choreography, but I’m sure my attempts to make the signs of the cross or clasp my hands in prayer were a failure. At least the nun’s habit was a great costume for me, hiding my deformed arms and hands most of the time.
My final musical was Annie in 2000. I played one of the maids working for Daddy Warbucks, but my main role was done behind the scenes. As Limelight’s new President, I wanted to do everything in my power to make the show a success. The director needed a lot of encouragement, so I had several early morning phone calls with him and attended every rehearsal (climbing a hill every night to avoid parking along the street). I enjoyed being so involved with every aspect of the musical (I’d been handling the publicity and making the programs for many years), but it took a physical toll on my body. The director wanted me to appear in more scenes to lend my strong singing voice to the ensemble, but I had to decline after feeling my legs wobble a little on stage.
Sure enough, I had to have surgery the next year to do revisions to both of my artificial hips. In 2002 I was cast in what would have been my biggest role in a show, but another one of my chronic illnesses flared and sent me to the hospital where I was forced to have life-changing surgery. After that, Limelight mostly did children’s audience-participation shows until staging its last performance in 2007.
Now I’m back to using crutches, power chairs, and mobility scooters to get around. Those years of being in community theatre shows seem like another lifetime. But I have the memories – of the challenges and the triumphs – to let me know that it DID happen, I DID achieve the goal of that little girl watching her big brother on stage so long ago. Whether nervously waiting backstage to make my entrance or lip synching in the wings as my fellow actors performed a favorite song of mine, I enjoyed every minute of my community theatre experience. One moment in particular will be with me forever. I was standing almost center stage during the uplifting finale of The Sound of Music. As the Mother Abbess’ high note soared to the heavens on the word “dream”, I got chills. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t raise my arm above my head for the final pose. A sense of pride filled me as the audience seemed to take direction from us actors on stage by rising into a standing ovation. I recognized the significance of that moment. I was living my dream.
* Despite Allison's juvenile rheumatoid arthritis rending her physically limited, she has always enjoyed the outdoors. Growing up on a family Christmas tree farm – she could literally go over the river (creek) and through the woods to her grandmother’s house - instilled a love of nature in her at an early age. As an adult she’s learned that nature has its own story to tell, a story she likes to read and relate through the lens of her camera. Today she drives a scooter when taking nature photographs and turns them into note cards like the one below in her Valentine series featuring heart-shaped hosta leaves or her summer series featuring roses, lilies, sunflowers, and hydrangeas available at Engage Arts Studio, 1005 Gravel Pike, Schwenksville, or on-line in her shop on society6.com.
*****
I was excited to get this photo of a butterfly in the wild (as opposed to one in an enclosed sanctuary). I use a mobility scooter and can rarely get close enough for a clear shot of these beautiful creatures. I was especially thrilled to capture this photo many years ago at a campground where there were no accessible trails. I was on the road that connected the campsites when this butterfly landed on a thistle right next to me! Yes, there was luck involved, but I am proud that I managed to get this captivating shot.
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