Wanna Know What Love Is? It's "Equilibrium"

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From the Expression staff:

In recognition of the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday, we asked our subscribers and friends to share a "love story" with us with the understanding that "love" could be defined in any way they chose--that their response did not have to be serious essays about the greatest love of their lives (though they could be) but could be more lighthearted. Over the next few days we will share the submissions.

by Julie Cordingley

It’s hard to admit but I cheated on my Valentine article assignment. In my defense, nothing was coming to me, so I resorted to googling “what is love?” Most of the sites that popped up delved into romantic love which is directly and unequivocally the result of our brain’s neurochemicals. Okay, I could have gone that route, (yawn!) but instead, I chose …chemical equilibrium (yay!)

Oh no, please don’t roll your eyes…I swear, it’ll be all right…

More than likely, your first thought of equilibrium is your inner ears as they pertain to your balance. You may even utter the word vertigo. And for that, you get an A+ because it is an excellent example of equilibrium’s definition – that it governs balance and harmony in our world.

Okay…bear with me…

When the majority of Chemistry experiments are performed, reactants, when chemically combined, will turn into (yield) products. It is a one-way, forward reaction. You may remember your high school equations with an arrow pointing to the right. One and done. But there are also scenarios called reversible reactions, because they can continue back and forth ad nauseum. They are not one and done; there contain both right and left arrows. They do not stop and so are called dynamic. A good example of this would be a mood ring; how when you wear it, the colors change and when you take it off, they again turn. Your own amazing body has built in involuntary maintenance programs that are a myriad of reversible reactions. Thank goodness for those!

There are many, many dynamic reversible interactions beyond the “sciency” that can be found in the everyday as well. An elevator is dynamic – it goes up and down, a playground’s see saw, the ever-changing stock market, and your own work to play ratio. It is the non-ceasing back and forth of things that can take seconds, days, months, years…a lifetime.

If over time, we were able to measure the forward outcome and compare to the reverse, it would result in something called the equilibrium constant, Keq. I don’t want to belabor the math and believe me, you don’t want that either! I have already glossed over crucial definitions that are making other Chem teachers shudder, just to make a point – and that would be if the Keq = 1, then the forward stuff equals the reverse stuff. If it is > 1, then there is more forward and if < 1, then there is more reverse.

So, where am I going with all this?...

If I choose to count my “forward product” days as my good days, and my “reverse reactant” as my bad days and attempt to calculate my pseudo equilibrium constant… my Keq would be oh, so much greater than one. SOOO much greater.

I made a hard turn when given the assignment of writing about something I love. It was turning into just a staid, underwhelming bulleted list of my immense gratitudes which mean a lot to me, but may not afford very good reading for you. I could not separate my really big loves, from the little ones. Both are worthy in my estimation.

There is direct correlation with my bulleted love list and my good forward days. Of course there is my family. I could tear up right now just thinking about the joy they give to me. My heart or my words are just not big enough to convey what they mean to me. AND there is a new grand baby on the way. Are you kidding me? I love my furry pets, Elvira and Willow… the beautiful nature and incredible sights that I witness when RV traveling with my husband… reading great books borrowed from our community library… teaching and hearing from former students, living in Boyertown, lounging on Myrtle Beach, volleyball, scrap booking…

That is not to say that there are not bad days. I am still grieving my mom’s passing last July that so rocked my world. At that time, there were enough bad days to wipe out and negate a huge number of my forward good which sent my Keq careening backward into the negatives. Thankfully, I have friends, and neighbors who specifically reached out to me to offer their support. Their love applied the brakes to my free fall. I am hoping the same thing happens to my beloved country; that our citizenry can somehow regroup and rectify our divisiveness. Right now, it just makes me sad. Then there is the awful frigid cold which exacerbates the heating bill… gaining winter weight… boredom during the too short days… all contributors to my reverse. The actor Robin Williams as a psychologist in Good Will Hunting opined that ” You’ll have bad times, but it’ll aways wake you up to the good times you weren’t paying attention to.” This is true because in order to have dynamic equilibrium, there needs to be a counter-balance.

For this Valentine’s Day, it is my hope for you is that your equilibrium constant is greater than one as well. SOOO much greater…. that you feel blessed… that your good days far outnumber your bad…and that there is realization along with a sense of gratitude for our loves, whether big or small, which makes us greater than ourselves.

My daughter said it best…” Mom, you just love your life.”

Yep…and I love Chemistry.

It has been over 40 years since a chemist job in Malvern lured Julie Cordingley away from her up state, New York home. She is a proud resident of Gilbertsville! Besides working in industry, at various times she has been a stay-at-home mom, and has just recently retired from Phoenixville Area School District as a (wait for it!) chemistry teacher. It has been a life-long dream to be a writer. She figures she can work at that craft while also traveling with her husband in their drivable RV… a retirement present to herself!

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